Hi, I'm Kayla!

I’m here to share what I’ve learned about love in order that you may become more aligned with love…for yourself, for others, and for the world.

Let's jump right in

During the pandemic, I separated from a romantic partner after 6 years, went 3 months without human touch, moved to another state with my 2 cats and 35+ houseplants, and experienced one of my worst bouts of depression.

I felt numb, disconnected, isolated, and emotionally stuck.

With therapy, coaching, a life-saving vaccine, and a fragile-but-persistent and ever-strengthening commitment to self-compassion over the next few years, I made new friends and found community, nurtured old friendships, welcomed the birth of my niece, embraced my queer identity, dated intentionally, found love with a wonderful partner, survived multiple rounds of layoffs at my tech job, kickstarted my drive to find and fulfill my purpose, moved again to live with the love of my life, and started my own business.

I learned how to love myself again, inspiring me to spread love to every area of my life.

How about you?

Do you feel numb? Are you languishing instead of thriving? Do you feel disconnected from yourself and others? Do you have this nagging feeling that there’s more and you just can’t quite place your finger on it?

I get it

There is so much numbing and avoiding in the world...and I get it. I have done it. I still do it. We need escape at times. But sometimes, numbing becomes our default state and we begin to languish or feel down and stuck. And there's an underlying hum of anxiety that this is not what life should be about and you decide you want more... different. But different means change, which is often scary. Different means effort and you just don't have the energy today. Different means there may be risk involved and you are threatened by risk, not challenged by it.

I once put a blanket on my TV for 8 weeks. It was a visual cue to remind me that I wanted to spend my limited resources, time and energy, doing something different. And it helped! I signed up for a writers retreat, I signed up for my own journey with a coach, I read the books I had bought years ago and never read, I drank less alcohol, and I spent more time dreaming, journaling, and connecting with myself and other people. My infrequent yoga practice became a daily one, I started exploring strength training and discovered lifting heavy things made me feel really good. I sought more time in nature and swam in my apartment complex's pool.

About 6 weeks in, something happened and I found myself wanting to numb again. I was so determined not to remove the blanket because I feared I wouldn't be able to stop at one episode, one show, one day. That numbing would become my default state again. So I watched an episode of a streaming show on my laptop at the kitchen table. At the end of the episode, I closed the laptop. It had felt good to numb. I thought about what prompted me to desire numbing, and I felt intense compassion for myself. I realized I didn’t need to strive to be someone who never ever numbs, just someone who recognizes when the desire to do so comes up and approaches it intentionally and temporarily. It didn't have to become my default again.

This is just one scenario where I practiced self-compassion, but it’s a skill worth honing every day.

Self-compassion is the skeleton key that unlocks doors for improved relationships with yourself, friends, family, romantic partners, and the world at large.

It is the fuel that powers your drive to seek fulfillment in all aspects of your life. If you resonate at all with my story, I would be honored to collaborate with you.

I’ve determined that the most fulfilling way to live my one precious life is to lead with love, and service is universal love in action. I’m here to share what I’ve learned about love in order that you may become more aligned with love…for yourself, for others, and for the world.

I'd like to help

I feel so strongly that lots of folks need to realign themselves with love that I decided to become a coach and guide others to prioritizing love in its many forms in their own lives.

To do this, I've created a program we can work through together called Love Lenses.

Is the Love Lenses program for you?

This program is for you if any of the following rings true:

Here's how it works

A quick overview

This program consists of virtual sessions, optional in-person sessions for folks who are local to Portland, Oregon, a compassionate space to encourage thoughtful discussion while you process what you want and what you’re willing to do to get there. We'll do this via virtual sessions with option

The nitty gritty

Here are the three pillars we'll explore together in the Love Lenses program:

Over the course of 12 1-hour sessions over 6 months, you will begin a life-long journey toward alignment with love in every area of your life. By the end of our time together, you will feel confident and centered in what love is, how to tap into self-compassion, how to nurture your relationships, and how to lead with love in everything you do.

The investment required

I'm offering Love Lenses for a one-time payment of $1,200. In addition to this financial investment, this journey will require a couple more of your precious resources: time and energy. I know these are a bit harder to quantify (although hours and spoons help), and I would be honored if you choose to share them with me. We'll be dipping our toes into what they call "the work" together, so I respect and admire you even considering making this investment in yourself.

Wow, you reached the end!

Wanna work through the Love Lenses program together? Send me a note and I'll set up a discovery call so we can learn more about each other.